The gynecologist told me I had HPV
Some history : I’m a virgin. I have never done anything that would have logically led to my contracting HPV, but I have somehow. I have had it for years, but did not learn what it was until a few months ago. Since I had never had sex, I assumed the bump I had was a skin tag of some sort. And for years, there was only one bump. But about 6 months ago, I noticed that more, very small, bumps were appearing.
The gynecologist told me I had HPV. I freaked out, horrified, especially since I have no clue in the world how or from whom I contracted the virus. Anyway, a few weeks later, I met a guy at a party. We talked for a little while and really hit it off, and exchanged numbers. For the next couple of months he kept calling and seemed to really like me. I was really starting to like him too, and didn’t wanna blow a good thing, so we saw each other for one more day before the summer ended before we both left for college. Well, the day we spent together was AMAZING. He is the most amazing guy I’ve ever met, and we’re both really stuck on each other. He goes to school in New Jersey (where we both live) but I go to school in Virginia, and he’s driving down in two days to spend the weekend with me – he’s really taking this thing seriously, and so am I.
But here’s my dilemma : He knows I’m a virgin. It came up in conversation. It turns out he’s a virgin too. Seeing as we’re both virgins, I know he’s assuming that I’m totally clean and virus-free.
And the fact that he’s a virgin at 21 shows me that his standards are high, so I don’t think he’s gonna be unfazed by an STD… From a guy’s point of view – would you react better if a girl fessed up in the beginning of the relationship? I’m waiting until marriage to have sex, so it’s not like a *should-we-have-sex* conversation is gonna come up where I can confess this. How long should I wait to tell him? A few months? A year? Till he wants a commitment? Till he loves me? Is it better to be up-front and honest quickly? Or till he’s attached enough to me that he’ll find it harder to leave me? =\
I’m so afraid of losing him over this, I don’t want to screw it up. I need men’s opinions of what the best way to go about this is…
Thanks, guys =\
Sex isn’t the only way you can pass HPV. It can be passed through mutual touching of the genitals as well. Sorry, I just had to add that in.
u may have been born with it…ask ur parents if they have it.
Ok, so here’s one man’s opinion………with a couple questions thrown in for thought. I am of the opinion that honesty is best. I know, as most all of us in this group do, how hard it is to even THINK about telling someone. But, you may put yourself in a position where he feels like you lied to him by NOT telling him. He may feel betrayed that you let him get attached knowing there may be a potential deal breaker. Then you have two pretty large issues to get over, HPV and TRUST. Relationships between people end every day for much smaller reasons than trust or HPV, so I would be careful with that one.
Now, the questions. Is he still a virgin because of moral issues? Is he also waiting for marriage? If in fact he is, then the HPV isn’t really much of an issue. I know that is easy to say, but if he is waiting for “the one” as you are, then by the time sex is a part of your lives, you will be committed to only eachother for life anyway, and a condition that is essentially incovenient, but not GENERALLY threatening to your health won’t matter.
I say sit him down, make sure you are armed with lots of information, and lay it out. What the risks are and ARE NOT, the statistics and how you feel about it, and him. I know I would have appreciated a little honesty, I don’t know if it would have changed my decision to move on with things or not, but I would have liked to have a choice.
Good luck.